It is 11:10 pm and am full of energy to do something great may be not that great but really good.. It was a really great day from the moment I woke up. Even my best friend and colleague didn’t want to go to work until I opened the curtains to show him how beautiful the day was and he couldn’t resist embracing the beauty of the day.
It was a greatest night for three of us. Oh I didn’t mention we were three musketeers. I hope I don’t embarrass my friends by pouring my emotions saying I feel, you guys are my best friends for life. Hope this doesn’t scare you……. It’s a bad time for scorpion to write. You might know the story that scorpions are secretive and want to be in control every time. But I will tell you one secret we shade our masks every 12 hours at mid night and noon. So this is a rare chance to see into my soul and be vulnerable.
I want to write about redemption today. I grow up in a real strict family learning religious books and moral and more importantly family pride, which I have to deny and sacrifice anything that would undermine my family’s name. So I did that for almost until I was 20.
Then I began to rebel as they said, but I call it as I start to boldly question everything first with fear but then boldly. Then I found out so many things that supposed to be bad or feared became at least ok and sometimes even great. So naturally I began to question everything and everyone. Then my curiosity got the better of me. I started to suspect everyone and everything.
If I was an American I would have pack bagged in Europe or if I was oriental I would have meditated. But I chose or thought forgetting everything I had thought was good or bad must be weighted and proved by myself to decide if works for me or not.
The biggest mistake I did was when trying to forget everything and everyone. Because I really know I had a really good childhood. You can imagine being raised my almost 100 years approaching grandfather who was smart, funny, kind, strict, somehow conservative, engages in debate with you forgetting you are just 4, telling you stories from Quran and experience, most of all believing in you no matter what.
I remember him reciting his own poems how great I am, how proud he is by me and am his only worthy Heir. All this love, care and support had gone drained to the toilet just because of I wanted to live my own life to be free. Maybe it’s not such a bad price to pay for freedom. Because after my rebellious flee ………………. Am home now.
I wandered for long to forget how I been shaped and molded. Am free now to be free through and through is to look at the past and be in peace with it. Enjoy the good things you had, learn from your mistakes and forgive all those done you wrong intentionally or because they didn’t knew better.
I remembered one Muslim saying by Prophet Mohammed for the search of knowledge one should go even as far as china. Am not a Muslim but I see good things I learned when I was one and make life rich with it.